[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":49},["ShallowReactive",2],{"posts-doc:/posts/how-alone-is-to-dream":3},{"id":4,"title":5,"body":6,"date":35,"description":36,"extension":37,"img":38,"meta":39,"navigation":40,"path":41,"seo":42,"stem":43,"tags":44,"type":47,"__hash__":48},"posts/posts/How Alone Is To Dream.md","How Alone Is To Dream",{"type":7,"value":8,"toc":31},"minimark",[9,13,21,24],[10,11,12],"p",{},"I'm listening to Babyteeth for the first time, really good music. I woke up from nightmares and watched some Bash programming classes. Since I started this, following the path of living my life my way, I've begun to feel like my heart is just an emptiness. Have you ever felt like that? I feel alone even around my friends, but they're probably also living their own personal hells, just like me.",[10,14,15,16,20],{},"Every day when I wake up, I wonder why I'm doing all this. This website, these articles, and the classes I've been taking. The hours that pass like the ticking of a clock, where exactly are they going? What will my future be like? Will I ever become a hacker? Actually, let me rephrase that. Will I ever become someone? Someone I'm proud of? The life I see through the window, will ",[17,18,19],"code",{},"She"," ever walk beside me? I'm starting to wonder.",[10,22,23],{},"But things are good. At the end of next month, I should finish this course. Desec is a very good school, so I'll be a step ahead when I finish these classes. I think what wears me down is this feeling that it's never enough. I'm not complaining about the constant studying and learning. In fact, I enjoy it. What wears me down is this feeling of never being good enough, the imposter syndrome.",[10,25,26,27,30],{},"I think I need to go, I need to finish this programming module, but it was good talking to you. We should probably do this more often. See you soon, ",[17,28,29],{},"Friend",".",{"title":32,"searchDepth":33,"depth":33,"links":34},"",2,[],"2026-03-24","An essay on my misery","md",null,{},true,"/posts/how-alone-is-to-dream",{"title":5,"description":36},"posts/How Alone Is To Dream",[45,46],"OffSec","Imposter Syndrome","Thought","35KdnfbxPIaH8vib8fOhZTMnriPOVDgv965RqqCxERY",1774877257579]